


Ethereal Moments are Lost on this World

by LostOnNeptune



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Female Hange Zoë, First Kiss, Hange spelled 'Hanji', Levi's sexuality is not specific, M/M, My first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 04:30:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12741051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostOnNeptune/pseuds/LostOnNeptune
Summary: A sort of experimental story in which Levi's first kiss happens differently depending on different choices he makes.





	1. Sunspots

**Author's Note:**

> This story tells two different versions of Levi's first kiss. It has two chapters but they are not connected by time. Each deals with a different OC. Choices in the first chapter may be different in the second, leading to a different result. They share a similar template, and even similar words, but they both can be read independently, or together in any order. Also, there are context spoilers from the OVA "A choice with no regrets". Feel free to leave questions if you are confused. Enjoy!

He always took lunch when no one else did. The mess hall was deserted, and in its silence sat Levi reading a book absentmindedly as he sipped the tea in his cup. It was an old book, faded ink presenting itself to him sheepishly, binding struggling to remain loyal in his grip and as he turned a page he inhaled the earthy scent of parchment. It mingled softly with the cinnamon from his tea and he sighed. It was peaceful, and with the 30th expedition right around the corner, he would take any and every moment of peace he could get. His eyes lingered on the empty seats around him for a solitary, fleeting moment and he was suddenly overcome by the enormous weight of Farlan and Isabel’s absence. He closed his eyes, wishing the apparitions of their smiles away. Lingering was dangerous, it gave demons the opportunity to take him hostage and he was in no mood to face any monsters, be they within or beyond himself. 

He opened his eyes and saw that it had begun to rain, shifting the light available to him dramatically and in the new dimness of the afternoon, he no longer felt like reading. So instead he sipped his tea and closed the book, setting it in his bag for later. He contemplated picking Erwin’s brains about the upcoming expedition once more. If this was the man he’d decided to follow, the man he’d let lead him, he’d need a little more than popular opinion before he could fully place his trust with him. But then again, Erwin was often annoyingly unavailable when it just so happened Levi wished to speak with him. So instead he considered maybe heading back to his room and cleaning it. His new roommates would be moving in soon and he knew from experience that it was always good to set a precedent.

But as he stood, having finished his tea, Levi decided on training some in the surrounding trees. It wouldn’t hurt to get some practice with the ODM gear in the rain. It wasn’t completely necessary but at least it would dull some of the boredom he felt creeping into his shoulders. 

…

Another day had gone by and the expedition loomed ever closer. He’d just broken away from the forced company of that Zoe girl who he quickly learned had a quite incredible knack for not being able to shut up. She seemed incapable of taking a hint when she proposed tagging along on his walk before lunch and he kindly suggested that she “take her four-eyed self back to the freak show she belonged to”. The entire venture consisted of the woman incessantly prattling on about her hypotheses surrounding titan origin and physiology. As far as he was concerned, as long as he knew how to kill them, who cared?

He sighed, opening his book to the page he’d marked from the day before, eyes not even focused enough to comprehend a single word when the intrusive “Hi there!” was directed at him. He lifted his eyes to find himself across from a now seated girl with long bluish-hair, golden eyes, and a suspicious smile glued to her face.

“I noticed this place tends to be pretty empty around this time of day except for you. So I thought maybe you could use some company.” she declared.

Levi looked back down at his book. “I didn’t ask for company.”

In his peripheral vision he saw her smile only widen. “Well of course not. No one likes to admit when they’re lonely.”

“And what makes you think I’m lonely?”

She looked down then. “Well, the teammates you came here with are,” She paused. “Gone now. I know that sort of thing isn’t easy to get over.”

The anger came quicker than he thought it would as he stood and looked down at the girl before him. “You don’t know anything about me, including how I grieve. Or if I grieve. So how about you take your half- considered sympathy and shove it up your ass.”

As he left the room he looked back at her interestingly indignant expression and said just as evenly “Have a nice day” and shut the door loudly behind him.

…

The following morning Zoe was far more talkative than normal. If he’d had the choice, he would do his damnest to never find himself in her presence but as it stood, Erwin had him assigned to Zoe’s squad. Temporary as it was, she was doing a fantastic job at driving him up the wall (and yes, he was referring to the one that would lead him to the possible better company of titans). Her usual spew of “titans this” and “titans that” had been traded in for “fall festival this” and “fall festival that”. He wasn’t the type for gossip and neither was she. Instead of berating him with the list of attending nobles, or the choice of music, she delved into the possibility of setting up social experiments geared towards understanding human behavior under different forms of stress. He probably would have preferred her to be normal, much to his disappointment.

As lunch neared and he successfully freed himself of her unending stream of consciousness, he thought about the girl he’d encountered the day before. Perhaps his choice of words had been… misguided. Perhaps, if he happened to see her around, he would take them back. But as he opened the door to the mess hall, all short-lived plans of apologizing were swiftly waved from his mind by the hand welcoming him to the otherwise empty room.

“Good afternoon.” Her voice was singsongy.

Fuck.

“Not this again.” He walked over to a corner of the room, holding his bag and his tea as he did so, and set them before him as he settled in. Quicker than he’d realized the girl had uprooted and replanted herself in front of him.

“Hello again.”

What was with the women in the survey corp, he wondered bitterly as she leaned into her hands and stared at him. He stared back. And for a few moments, they were like this, just staring,  
unwavering, silently. 

Finally she smiled, again. “I like your face.”

He was somewhat surprised. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah, there aren’t many cute guys around here anymore.”

He collected himself. “Gee, I would have never noticed.”

“Let me take you to the fall festival tomorrow.”

Again she’d managed to surprise him. “Excuse me?”

“I know you heard me. I want to take you to the fall festival, tomorrow. It’s the last opportunity any of us will have to do something fun before another expedition. I want to go, you’re probably available, so let me take you.”

He looked away from her then and opened his book. “No.”

“Oh really?”

He sighed, exasperated. “Really.”

“Then I guess I have no choice but to follow you around all day until you say yes. If you think Hanji can talk, you’re in for a treat.”

Why him?

…

The girl, who he’d soon learned was named Deborah Wilk, made good on her promise and pestered him mercilessly without fail. Two hours into the cruel and unusual torture, Levi broke down and conceded to attending the festival with her. She said she’d be by his room a few hours before sundown and left with a giant smile on her face, the biggest one he’d seen yet. He hoped his roommates, Harry and Cepheus, would be gone before then as they were also attending the festival and he was not a fan of big groups.  
His room door opened with reckless abandon and crashed into the wall behind it. He looked up and frowned as Deborah strutted in. “Don’t you know how to knock?”

“Wastes time. Let’s go!”

And with that declaration he was promptly dragged by his sleeve out of the barracks and towards the edge of the closest village. It was not often, he found, that the soldiers of the survey corp were welcomed so warmly. He considered that perhaps the villagers’ good graces must be in part due to their knowledge of the upcoming expedition. They were nothing shy of perfect hosts.

By the time they arrived the sun was low in the sky and Deborah insisted they buy food before all the shops closed. He followed suit and was taken aback when she paid for both of their orders. Levi wasn’t in the habit of feeling indebted to people but something about her face tugged him just the right way and he decided to let it slide.  
All evening Deborah pulled him along to the ridiculous booths and games the villagers were playing. And when they bumped into Zoe he was certain he wouldn’t make it back home with his ears intact. But she was uncharacteristically quick to bid the two goodbye, which he was grateful for. But he was getting very bored and wanted to leave.

“Oh come on, live a little Levi!” Deborah insisted.

“Look I’m not saying you have to come home with me but I’m leaving.”

He watched her eyebrows raise suggestively. “Oh, so you would rather I come home with you?”

He was baffled by her forwardness, unable to respond, stuck between his instinctive “fuck off” and not responding at all. But she just laughed. “I’m kidding! But stay a little while longer, please? There’s only one more thing I want to do.” Her bottom lip poked out like a child and another moment invaded his mind in which she looked so much like Isabel he nearly wretched. How could he say no after that?

She led him excitedly to a group of people clapping around a fire and immediately began to dance. Levi watched from the corner of the group as her blue hair burned purple in the light of the fire and shadows of the sunset. And for a moment, she was all he saw. Her laughter rung in his ears like a language he’d never known he knew, her body swayed like water in the desert inviting him in, and when she looked at him finally, breathing hard, and excited, he felt his heart stop. For the smallest of moments, he was paralyzed.

As they walked back to the barracks, Deborah recounting her favorite parts of the night, though tiring as she was, for a final moment of the night, Levi could honestly say he was glad he stayed.

…

Again it was time for lunch and again Levi found himself in the company of the blue-haired girl. It wasn’t so bad today, at least she was silent.

“Tell me about the book you’re reading.”

Perhaps he’d spoken too soon. He paused and left his finger to mark his place as he lifted his gaze to his self-appointed lunch buddy. “It's a fairy tale. My mother read it to me when I was a child. I just never seem to get bored of the damn thing.”

Deborah smiled softly and waited patiently for him to continue.

“I'll take that look to mean you're wondering what it's about?” She nodded. “Well the story was written long before mankind's first interaction with the Titans. It chronicles the quest of a young boy who finds that his village is plagued by these previously unknown beings whose presence causes countless problems for the people living there. But in order to save his people, he must become one of the newcomers.”

“It sounds interesting. What are these beings in the story?” 

“I'm not sure. Always assumed they were just nondescript mythical creatures. It doesn't really matter that much to me.”  
Deborah nodded. “I guess I'm not surprised. It seems like no matter where I go I always run into the same stories.”

Her eyes glazed over and Levi wondered what she meant by the statement but knew from experience that if a person wanted to expose the memories playing behind their eyes, they would do so at their own will. So instead he waited until she sighed and changed the subject. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” 

“Is anyone ever ready for those kinds of things?” he countered.

“You have a point.” She stood and gathered her things before making her way to the door. As she reached the doorway, she looked back and spoke with such seriousness that Levi was nearly  
concerned for her health. “Don't die on me tomorrow, okay?” 

“Speak for yourself.”

She laughed warmly. “Sure.” And with that she left.

…

Under most circumstances, Levi preferred silence. But as the expedition moved through the fields beyond the wall, the lone sound of the horses galloping set him on edge. The expedition was going comparatively well, only a handful of soldiers having lost their lives, in part due to the implementation of Erwin’s new formation and also to the relatively low numbers of titans they’d encountered that afternoon. The trees passed by in a blur as Levi skimmed the sky for signs of smoke. The last red flare had gone off nearly twenty minutes ago and the commander was taking that to mean this was a mostly titan free area. But there was something about the patch of trees around him that bothered him. They were far too removed, and far too thin. With how Erwin had the regimen currently split up, would it be at all possible for the other two groups to see everything?

He looked ahead and saw the beginning of a clearing. At least they’d pass the trees soon. Perhaps his feeling of uneasiness would pass then as well. Or perhaps two abnormal titans would bear down on them unsuspectingly. The last tree left his vision, but they were too late. The titans were on them and no one could react fast enough. One, easily ten meters, grabbed one of Levi’s new roommates whose terrified screams stretched the area of the clearing. The other smaller titan had, with a sweep of its hand, brutally knocked several riders from their horses and was now going after those it had disoriented. Among the fallen was Deborah.

Levi had hesitated long enough and jumped on his horse. The trees were gone, sure, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t anything for his gear to attach to. He aimed straight for the back of the titan and pulled himself towards it before viciously destroying its nape. He looked back at Erwin. The man was no fool. In this large clearing, the scouts were at a serious disadvantage. Turning back for the cover of the woods was their only option. 

“Levi?”

The call was so soft he couldn’t believe it had come from the woman to his right. Deborah was sitting against the based of one of the straggling trees, her arm clutching her side.  
She smiled at him, like always. “Thanks… for getting it… for me… rotten bastard.”

As he neared her it didn’t take him long to figure out that her spine had been broken and any use of her lower body was now impossible. But as he kneeled at her side, he soon realized what would ultimately kill her. Her breath was coming shallow and fast and it was clear her lungs were collapsing.

“I was… gonna marry you... you know?”

His eyes widened. She never stopped surprising him, even at the very end. “Oh yeah? What if I’m not the marrying type?” His words were soft, a distraction. 

“I was… gonna make you… fall for me… but I never… even… made it to a… single kiss.” The regret showed in her eyes and Levi cursed mentally.

“You don’t have very much breath left, why waste it on something so stupid?”

Deborah looked up at him and the intensity of her gaze was a stark reminder of two things. Number one, she was going to die. “I’d never… waste… anything… on you.” 

And number two, he didn’t want her to.

“Dammit.” Levi said straightening up. He reached out and held her chin gently. Her breaths were even shorter now and he knew she had but moments. “You dumb girl.”  
He placed his lips on hers with instinct, having never before done something like this. They molded against hers and with their softness came the faint taste of blood and whatever made Deborah talk so much. Her mouth tasted sweet and that sweetness lingered on the edges of his lips as he pulled away, having felt her muscles relax indefinitely. 

Levi stood and looked down at the woman before him, realizing just how striking she was. Even in death, she managed a smile. It made him sick to his stomach. He whistled for his horse and as he rode towards the rest of the group, he glanced once more behind him. At the base of the tree, light low in the sky behind her, Deborah was the most tranquil she’d ever seemed. He couldn’t decide which was more blinding, her or the setting sun. As he looked back in front of him, he found that both had left lingering spots behind his eyelids. He wondered if they’d ever go away.


	2. Alongside the Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you'll definitely notice some similarities between this chapter and the previous one but bear with me, I assure you they are largely different. Just hang in there, and as always, enjoy!

He always took lunch when no one else did. The mess hall was deserted, and in its silence sat Levi reading a book absentmindedly as he sipped the tea in his cup. It was an old book, faded ink presenting itself to him sheepishly, binding struggling to remain loyal in his grip and as he turned a page he inhaled the earthy scent of parchment. It mingled softly with the cinnamon from his tea and he sighed. It was peaceful, and with the 30th expedition right around the corner, he would take any and every moment of peace he could get. His eyes lingered on the empty seats around him for a solitary, fleeting moment and he was suddenly overcome by the enormous weight of Farlan and Isabel’s absence. He closed his eyes, wishing the apparitions of their smiles away. Lingering was dangerous, it gave demons the opportunity to take him hostage and he was in no mood to face any monsters, be they within or beyond himself. 

He opened his eyes and saw that it had begun to rain, shifting the light available to him dramatically and in the new dimness of the afternoon, he no longer felt like reading. So instead he sipped his tea and closed the book, setting it in his bag for later. He contemplated picking Erwin’s brains about the upcoming expedition once more. If this was the man he’d decided to follow, the man he’d let lead him, he’d need a little more than popular opinion before he could fully place his trust with him. But then again, Erwin was often annoyingly unavailable when it just so happened Levi wished to speak with him. So instead he considered maybe training some in the surrounding trees. It wouldn’t hurt to get some practice with the ODM gear in the rain. It wasn’t completely necessary but at least it would dull some of the boredom he felt creeping into his shoulders.

But as he stood, having finished his tea, Levi decided on heading back to his room and cleaning it. His new roommates would be moving in soon and he knew from experience that it was always good to set a precedent.

…

The door to his room opened and a squad captain walked through, two new recruits on his heels. Levi stood up slowly and waited patiently to be addressed.

“Levi, these are your new bunkmates. This is Harry Rufus.” A boy with blonde hair and brown eyes saluted. “And this is Cepheus.” There were several strange things about the second one. He was tall but his demeanor struck Levi as reserved. His eyes were baby blue and stranger still was his silver hair. But he saluted as well.

“What, no last name?” Levi inquired. Cepheus averted his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter Levi; a man should be called whatever he says his name is. You’ve never given us any last name.” The squad leader asserted.

Levi scoffed. “Don’t compare me to him.”

“Just show these two around.” The squad leader exited as soon as the command left his mouth and Levi looked towards his new roommates. 

“You see how clean this place is?” Their eyes followed him as he demonstrated the cleanliness of the room by wiping various things and blowing certain areas to show the lack of dirt or dust. “Keep it this way. Any sort of filth you bring in here and neglect to clean with your own hands, I will make sure you take care of with your tongues instead.”

The steely look he gave the two sent them visibly on edge. Having felt the message was successfully delivered, Levi left for dinner.

…

The mess hall was loud and crowded by the time he’d gotten there and picked a table in the corner. He’d yet to be spotted that that insufferable hag Zoe and so took solace in that fact. From what he could gather from the bits and pieces of conversations swarming around him, most people had the expedition on their minds. He didn’t want to hear the meaningless banter regarding how and when titans would eat them all but hey, a lot of people talk when they’re scared. 

“Um, excuse me?”

Levi looked up and met the eyes of a rather intimidated looking Cepheus. Next to him was Harry, pointedly avoiding eye contact. He lowered his eyebrows. “What?”

“Is it okay if we, uh, sit here tonight? You don’t have a problem with us, right?”

“Too soon to tell.” Levi grunted. “Do as you please. Just don’t bother me.”

Cepheus let out a quick thank you and sat down, followed by Harry, and Levi quickly settled into ignoring them both. He just wanted to finish eating and go back to their room, maybe keep reading that old book to pass the time. He found his eyes drifting to the men before him, lingering on the form of the shy white-head. His appearance was so unusual, as was his name, both like something out of a fairy tale. It bothered him.

“I changed my mind, go sit somewhere else.” he declared passively.

Cepheus’ face noticeably darkened and Harry was quick to respond. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am. Your friend’s face unsettles me, which is saying a lot.” 

Harry looked like he was going to hit Levi, but Cepheus calmed him immediately. “It’s okay Harry. I’m used to people disliking me, nothing new. I mean my own village threw me out after all.”

Levi crossed his arms. “I told you to leave, I didn’t ask for your life story Farlan.”

The expressions of confusion he received milliseconds after the name left his mouth made this bad situation even worse. He saw the question forming on their faces but he’d be damned if he gave them the chance to ask it. Instead he gathered his things, muttered “forget it” and left promptly.

…

That night Levi thumbed the pages of his book as per usual and read by candle light. It was late into the night and Harry had already fallen asleep. It was usual for him to not get much sleep, he never needed more than three hours of rest. But most people required much more so he was mildly surprised that Cepheus remained awake with him, silently scribbling something in his bunk.

He was grateful for the silence between them. Cepheus mostly kept to himself it seemed, and he would do well to continue that habit. But every time Levi turned a new page he did so with a fraction more guilt than the previous ones. 

“What’d they kick your ass out for?” Levi asked nonchalantly.

The sounds of writing paused for a moment. “They just didn’t like me.”

“Why, what’s wrong with you?”

A bitter laugh was his first response. “I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

“I’m holding you to that.”

…

When morning came around Levi was ready to kill someone, most notably Zoe. At breakfast she’d noticed the company of his roommates scooted her way over to his table and begun that unending voracious speech about the progress they’d make that day. And although under normal circumstances (if you could even call them that) she would continue all day going on and on about titans and science, midmorning the topic of conversation changed, and got even worse.

Apparently, a village nearby was throwing an annual fall festival and had invited the scout legion to attend. She went on excitedly, not about the events or the food or anything else much more festival-y, but instead about the opportunity to study humans in different social environments. It was maddening and by the time lunch rolled around, Levi hated Zoe a little more.  
Since she was likely to turn up at the mess hall, Levi avoided it that day in favor of a longer stroll through the grounds. As he walked, listening to the sounds of the birds and the gravel beneath his shoes, he happened upon Cepheus and an absent Harry.

The man sat beneath a rather large tree, half his face cast in shadow. When he looked up, his blue eyes were much deeper than usual. He was, not surprisingly, writing something. On Levi’s approach, he set the paper aside. “What are you writing?”

Cepheus looked guilty and paused, and Levi could see the decision forming in his facial features. “It’s just some… poetry.”

He leaned against the tree. “That’s a dead art.”

“So are fairytales.”

Levi’s eyebrows lowered dangerously. “Did you fucking touch my shit?” 

“N-no.” Cepheus stuttered. “I just know the book. My family had a copy of it when I was a kid. That’s all.”

Levi pushed off from the tree and eyed the other man distastefully before walking away. He didn’t like how quickly he could relax around him, it wound him up even tighter upon realization. He didn’t have time for people lost in daydreams— that was the quickest way to an early grave.

…

That night it seemed a pattern had emerged with Harry falling asleep first and Levi and Cepheus awake in silent company, one reading, the other writing.

“Levi?”

He sighed. “What?”

“Can I— I mean would it piss you off too much if I, maybe, read you one of my poems? I thought maybe since you seem to like reading you might appreciate them…” He trailed off.  
Levi was mildly astonished but he pressed his finger into the current page and closed the book over it, turning his attention to a very nervous-looking Cepheus. “It better not be shitty.”  
His roommate swallowed and with more staid hands than expected begun to read from a page he’d fished out of a nearby pile. 

“I'm wasted, losing time. I'm a foolish, fragile spine. I want all that is not mine and in this darkness I will meet my creators. And they will all agree, that I'm a suffocator.” He paused steadying his breath before continuing. “I should go now quietly, for my bones have found a place to lie down and sleep. Where all my layers can become reeds, all my limbs can become trees, all my children can become me- what a mess I’ll leave… to follow.” A light blush played at Cepheus’ cheeks as he finished, clearly waiting for something, anything from Levi who found he had, again, unknowingly relaxed.

“Short but not shitty.” He reopened his book. “You’ve got some talent, too bad it’ll be wasted here.”

There was a rustling of papers as Cepheus awkwardly stood, determined look on his face. “You should let me- I mean, Levi would you-” He swallowed and closed his eyes momentarily. He looked like he was going to explode. “Levi you should come with us to the festival tomorrow!”

He beheld the other man with piqued interest. “Sure, why not.” Then he closed his book again and blew out the candle.

…

When night rolled around once more, Harry, Cepheus, and Levi were on their way to the festivities. Harry spoke fondly of performances and food and Cepheus nodded politely. They were an odd pair, but not entirely mismatched. Upon arriving at the village Levi was surprised to find them so welcomed. Normally all the townspeople were good for in regards to the scout legion was bitching and moaning. But tonight they were dapper and treated the soldiers with the utmost respect. Levi quickly realized it was likely they knew about the upcoming expedition and their kindness stemmed from nothing short of guilt and pity. Pathetic. 

At one point in the night Harry had dragged the small group to a gathering of people practicing a dance Levi was very familiar with. When he still lived in the Underground City, it wasn’t uncommon to find hordes of dancers by the night. Most people liked to pass the time with movement, fill the emptiness with music, and use their legs while they still could. But the style they practiced now was formal and he had been told, a long time ago, that it was the way in which nobles liked to dance. 

Harry jumped right in, finding a partner immediately. But Cepheus hung back with Levi, standing next to his chair with such a loud expression on his face. “If you want to dance, just go dance. I’m sure you’ll find a partner.”

He could see his embarrassment through the darkness. “I want to but I don’t know how.”

Levi held his head back exaggeratedly and uncrossed his legs. “For the love of God.” he muttered as he stood, extending a hand to Cepheus as he did so. The other man looked at it, confused, not daring to understand. “Take my hand idiot, I’m gonna teach you how to dance.”

Cepheus paled a little. “But Levi we’re both… men.”

“Who gives a shit? Just because we both have dicks means I can’t better your life with a little culture?”

His hesitation stood to annoy Levi more the longer it lasted. Finally he grabbed Cepheus by the wrist and drug him to the periphery of the group. He placed one hand on his hip and held his wrist with the other, placing Cepheus’ free hand on his shoulder. 

“And don’t you dare bitch about being the girl. I lead, you follow.”

And so they danced. It only took Cepheus a moment or two to get the rhythm of their movements together. And although he rarely made eye contact, Levi could tell he was enjoying himself. No matter how hard he may have tried to hide them, Levi caught each and every one of the small curls that found his dance partner’s lips throughout the song. And when finally their eyes did meet, the crimson hue of Cepheus’ cheeks screamed at him over the music. It suddenly became abundantly clear why Cepheus’ village had kicked him out. 

…

The next day Levi and Cepheus found themselves alone at the breakfast table due to Harry’s having eaten rotten fish at the festival the night before. It didn’t bother him too much though, preferring his current company to that of the missing other. But something was wrong, and Levi could guess what.

“Levi?” Levi waited for him to continue. The call was barely a whisper in the surrounding noise and he figured whatever Cepheus wanted to ask was taking him time to get out. His eyes looked troubled. “What are the titans like?”

Levi sighed. “They’re the shit-stains of the planet.”

“Yeah, but I mean-”

“Listen Cepheus, working yourself up isn’t gonna do anyone any damn good, least of all yourself. So just do your job tomorrow and trust the people around you. And never regret your choices. That’s all I can say.” he explained, sipping his tea afterward. Cepheus’ face fell more. Any further and he’d be staring at those blue eyes from beneath the table. He let out an evening breath. “Your name, what’s it mean?”

“Oh.” He seemed slowly to shake back into himself. “Cepheus was a king from a very old story in the village. According to legend he was so great a man, so benevolent a leader, that when he died the gods decided to reward his efforts in life by allowing him to live on as a constellation. It’s a lot to live up to.”

Levi imagined it for a moment, a fleeting image of the night sky graced by the presence of Cepheus’ features. He shook away the thought. “I wouldn’t try to live up to that. The only you’d make it to the sky would be in death, and I’m sure you don’t want that.”

“No, I don’t.”

Levi stood and grabbed his things. “Good. Keep it that way.” And then he left, off to suffer through the morning at Zoe’s side.

…

Under most circumstances, Levi preferred silence. But as the expedition moved through the fields beyond the wall, the lone sound of the horses galloping set him on edge. The trees passed by in a blur as Levi skimmed the sky for signs of smoke. He looked ahead and saw the beginning of a clearing. At least they’d pass the trees soon. Perhaps his feeling of uneasiness would pass then as well. Or perhaps two abnormal titans would bear down on them unsuspectingly. The last tree left his vision, but they were too late. The titans were on them and no one could react fast enough. One, the smaller titan, had with a sweep of its hand, brutally knocked several riders from their horses and was now going after those it had disoriented. The other, easily ten meters, grabbed at Levi’s section of the formation, successfully picking Cepheus from his horse. 

Levi’s heart beat slowed for a fraction of a second. He looked up above him at Cepheus’ wildly kicking feet and through his mind’s retardation of the situation heard his distorted screams and saw instead Farlan. Levi grit his teeth. Not again.

Levi had hesitated long enough and jumped on his horse. The trees were gone, sure, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t anything for his gear to attach to. He aimed straight for the arms of the titan and pulled himself towards it before spinning and cutting its fingers off, grabbing Cepheus just as its jaw came down over one of his legs. Harry was right behind him and he quickly transferred the man into his custody. The titan swung at him and Levi dodged easily, aiming the hook of his gear at its burly shoulders. With a loud yell, Levi descended upon its back and cut through its nape.

He knew the scouts would have to turn back for the cover of the woods; it was their only option. He called for his horse and waited patiently as it appeared before riding it to the center of the group. Cepheus lay in the wagon, his breathing labored. Levi climbed into the area and surveyed the damage. 

The blood loss was tremendous and Cepheus, having lost an entire leg, would most likely bleed to death within minutes. He looked up at Levi.

“Seems like I messed up.”

Levi sat next to him, noting that Harry sat on the other side of the wagon, unable to watch his best friend die. He turned back to the man in question. “What did I tell you about regrets?”  
Cepheus’ eyes were unfocused and glossy. “You’re right. Too late for me now.” He took a few shaky breaths before turning to Levi’s gaze. “Can you do something for me?” Levi nodded. “Please keep my poems. If there’s anything of mine to save, it’s those. My only regret is never binding them into a book.”

 

A moment of pain washed over his features in which he reached out and Levi grasped his hand. “Well that and… never mind.”

Levi had to control his tone through the frustration he suddenly felt. “You’re about to die dammit, just spit it out.”

Cepheus returned his eyes to Levi’s and they were the most intense he’d ever seen them. The sun had set and in the newfound darkness, his eyes sparkled like stars. “I never got to kiss you.”  
Levi’s eyes widened. “What?”

“I know people don’t like me for this,” He paused, pained once more. “But it’s just the way I am. I just—”

“Shut up goddammit.” Levi moved Cepheus gently so that he cradled his head in the nook of his arm. By the look in his eyes he had barely seconds. “As if I would deny you anything right now.” And he pressed their lips together, moving only in response to Cepheus. His mouth was dry and when their tongues met, he tasted blood. He kissed him as well as he could, considering that although this may be his first, it would be Cepheus’ last. Levi only parted from him when he failed to respond. 

In the dim light of the recently lit torches, Cepheus looked peaceful. He turned to where Harry sat, sobbing silently. Through his tears he wrenched out “Thank you… for accepting him.”

Levi just nodded, leaving the man alone to grieve as he mounted his horse once more. As twilight passed the stars came into view. The night sky was blinding and Levi allowed himself to wonder if Cepheus would live on alongside the stars like the person of his namesake had. With everything he was, Levi genuinely hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I love being left in suspense, what'd you guys think? This was something new and kinda fun for me so I'm really craving some feedback. Hope I wasn't too mean to poor Levi! Also, the "poem" is not original. It's a mash-up (kind of) of lyrics from the song "Smother" by Daughter.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing Levi. Any thoughts? Suggestions? I'll take either.


End file.
